See the ugh is because I wish that I could sit here and write a blog post about how I'm passed the hump... but I'm not. Also, apparently you always have to keep working and that kinda sucks. It might feel good once I've made my first million and I've become an influencer and I've reached executive level 5 in my business but now it sucks because I have so many goals and feel a bit like I haven't reached any. I want to achieve lots but I heard something that I can't shake of. I think it was while listening to Mark Manson's book The subtle Art of Not Giving A Fu*k and it went something like if you really want it, you'd have it and do it and I HATE that because what if I'm not working hard enough?! Some people are for sure farther along in there goals but I'm just starting, and putting in the work is what matters right?
To quote Rachel Hollis, my hero and mentor that doesn't know I exist, "It's your job to show up for your own life and fight for your own dreams."
So some of my dreams might be to marry Richard Madden who I just want to be my Prince like he is in Cinderella and rough and strong like he as Robb Stark...but I also have "real" goals. Well, I hate to say that one isn't real but ones more in my immediate control. What is in my control though? Do you ever feel like your life is not what you want but you don't know if you have the power and drive to actually change it? I do, and for me, it depends on how tired I am, how much coffee I've had, and how stressed I am at the time. All these things I can change but when I'm hit with them all together it's way too overwhelming.
Some days I do it though. I get stuff done against stress and seemingly ALL odds. It may have taken 2+ months...WTF man...but I went after it and today wrote my first entry in my Start Today Journal created by Rachel Hollis. This was a little win and also reminded me of little loses. I think little loses are important to remember but not dwell on forever.
I was obsessed with the first few pages of Girl, Stop Apologizing so why did I binge Working Mons on Netflix the past 2 weeks and not finish it? This was a book I actually bought I wanted it so bad and that's kinda crazy, but once life got busy I haven't gone back to it. Rachel Hollis, the author of this book, spoke at My Rodan+ Fields convention in Nashville this past weekend so why didn’t I watch it live? I was busy helping an injured family move house but I am still disappointed because wouldn't watching her live fire me up like nothing else?! I need to achieve these goals people!
I can answer all those above rhetorical questions with excuses and then I can be hard on myself. We all beat ourselves up a lot and okay maybe today I should chill with the perfection issue. I went to class, had a work meeting, am currently doing homework, have to prep and teach dance, go to a spin class, then lastly go to dance for 2 hours tonight.
Does anyone struggle with this? This drive to do it all and achieve it all but if you're burnt out how can you? RAISE YOUR HAND even if you’re sitting alone on your bed and definitely do it if you’re out in public. “Perfectionism is the least badassery thing,” says Brene Brown and that sucks but it's a reminder for me and maybe for you, because I want to be a Bad Ass.
Moral: chill out and go for those goals but gosh dang it chillout a little. You're worthy of love and belonging and you got this.
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